These are all the items I took with me when Haris was going to lay down to take a nap. My intentions were to read each book for 20 minutes, journal for 10 minutes or so, work on a monologue, reassess my goals and plan, answer 2 emails, and read 3 others. Easy enough.Haris naps anywhere from 60 minutes to 90 minutes, and a rare 12o minutes. So was I ambitious, overly optimistic, foolish, or unfocused? Maybe all of the above.
Spreading things a little thin huh? It’d be like saying I’m going to cook roasted duck, crab legs, potatoes, filet mignon, make a Caesar salad with homemade dressing, bake a carrot cake, and make some homemade vanilla bean ice cream in 40 minutes. Most of that meal wouldn’t be cooked properly/safely and I doubt that anything outside the lettuce being washed will be to the quality/taste I or anyone else would want.
When I saw all the items in my arms, I knew it was futile, but I continued walking towards the bedroom anyways (there’s a lesson in that moment separate from this post). That moment fueled this blog too, so yay! There were 3 books that were partially finished and had been that way for at least 3 -4 months. One book literally had probably 15 pages until the end. So, why was I dragging my feet? I had too many irons in the fire.
I pride myself in my ability to multi-task. Doing the laundry, cooking a meal, playing with Haris, and add some other things in there – no problem, extremely busy, yes, but done. But there is power in focus. To place all my attention on one thing at one time, is extremely powerful, relaxing, daunting (I’m out of practice) and beneficial. At the beginning of this year I was meditating and I felt God gave me a word for the year. It’s focus. We’re 6 months in…I’m doing slightly better…I think…
I immediately thought about my goals. How many do I have going on at once? Some of them have several steps that I want to do simultaneously. But there’s only one me. So I have to choose/prioritize what to work on first. We all have flaws, this is one of mine. Where there’s a flaw, I believe there’s also the opposite of that attribute, an undiscovered strength. It just takes some reworking and some more work perhaps.
At this moment I need to work on recutting my reel, updating my LinkedIn profile and work on gathering and narrowing some casting directors I would like to target. The recutting the reel goes towards the goal of obtaining a theatrical agent, thus more film and television auditions. The real headline of the goal: Full time working actress.
So, what to do? I decided to read one book at a time for a scheduled period of time. Journaling is mentally healthy for me – so that’s a daily and normally done after reading/praying.
I’m still working on how to get EVERYTHING done. And trying to realize that EVERYTHING does have to be done EVERY DAY. I like to get things done and get them done quickly, who doesn’t? Call it a modern culture problem of instant gratification, the microwave, human error, lack of patience/diligence/discipline or a millennial thing. Regardless, I try to remind myself that something done right, is better than nothing done or everything half done. I’m always drawn back to artwork at museums that were done in the 15th century…they didn’t paint those long standing works of art in a day. Most great things that are sustaining take time to build. So I’m learning to focus to move forward, not around and around again. Of course the other part to focus, is having the “right” clear vision and direction…
“Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you.” – Proverbs 4:25
“Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.” – Proverbs 16:3
“Where there is no prophetic vision the people cast off restraint, but blessed is he that keeps the law.” – Proverbs 29:18
“Making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.” – Proverbs 2:2-5
“Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might, for there is no work or thought or knowledge or wisdom in Sheol, to which you are going.” – Ecclesiastes 9:10
“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” – Isaiah 26:3
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.” – Psalm 32:8Tags: direction, fault, flaw, focus, goal, goals, growth, intention, reading, strength, weakness