I need help . . .
We normally don’t say those words, unless there’s a fire, a storm raging, alarms are ringing, and we’re losing control! And recently, I needed help . . .
At my day job (the school) we were pushed into a deadline. A school performance that was scheduled in 2 weeks, got moved up to this week. You can imagine the frustration, costumes still on the way in the mail, two year olds not caring that you want their choreography awesome, parents who took off work in advance, that now have to make new requests, frustrated staff, other events previously scheduled still going on, and costumes that need sewing . . . okay that’s the picture. Not pretty. So now what?
Blame someone, won’t help. Be mad at them, they probably won’t care or know. Give them a piece of my mind, because that’ll change theirs . . . probably not. In every obstacle, there’s an opportunity.
“For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him. Do everything without complaining and arguing.” – Philippians 2:13-14 NLT
(Confession: I was reminded of this verse after I had done some healthy grumbling, complaining, & creative imaginary confrontations – I won’t bore you with the details)
Why don’t we ask for help?
- Maybe it’s pride, wanting the independence & achievement to be all your own, or the ability to say “I did it,” signifying without anyone’s help (that’s probably not entirely true anyways, we’ve all gotten help).
- Maybe it’s not wanting to be bothersome to someone
- Not wanting someone to think less of you or as weak
- Maybe we’re trying to be like him/her who seems to do it all with such ease, and not seem weak or like a failure to ourselves
- Maybe you’re not ready for someone’s help?
- How much will they charge me for their help? Hello obligation.
- They won’t do it the same way I’d do it.
- No one’s reliable
- I’m not important enough to help
- We don’t know we need it
- Other reasons we don’t ask? Please add in the comment section.
So, I had to accept the circumstance, forgive some people without apology, and choose a good attitude. And a good attitude led to some good solutions and options.
Emotions can be blinding in situations, solutions start to disappear, and everything looks dark. Good suggestions from others sound bad, because it doesn’t confirm our bad emotions, and we’ve closed our ears. We start looking down, dreading what’s going to happen, hope weakens, and solutions aren’t anywhere to be found.
“Feelings aren’t facts.” – Ogy Durham
“The word emotion, has ‘motion,’ in it. Emotions move you one direction or another.” – Pastor Garrett (sermon on not submitting to emotions)
We needed help, because even as a staff, we couldn’t do it all, and the only sewing I can do involves a button, several knots, over under crossovers, that’s finished with a hope and a prayer. Someone had to sew (quickly), and teachers were going to need help with the little ones.
Relationships are terribly vital. You know the golden rule, “Treat everyone the way you want to be treated.” There’s a reason for that respect. Thankfully I have some favorable relationships with the parents, and not from anything major I’ve done for them, we’ve gotten close from simple good mornings, and genuine engagement during conversation. I began sending strange emails, “What are you weekend plans, and would you like to include sewing?” (I didn’t say it like that, but you get the picture). I asked for help.
The response from the parents was welcoming, and a willingness to help, and everyone said yes. I began wondering why I hadn’t been asking for help before! I want their valuable input, skills, and knowledge to benefit the students, staff, and themselves too.
We grow by giving.
This move up date, was a blessing in disguise. The show was this past Tuesday, and it was spectacular, all the costumes arrived and/or were sewn in time, the kids did great, and it didn’t seem like we missed a beat.
Community is something we could use more of in this age of the individual, because iThis and iThat, just never seem to be enough. But in community, there’s something filling the space that “i” isn’t big enough for. Sure it involves sacrifice and giving, but it doesn’t come back void.
“Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.” – Galatians 6:2
“My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth!” – Psalms 121:2
“And don’t forget to do good and to share with those in need. These are the sacrifices that please God.” – Hebrews 13:16
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.” – Philippians 4:6
“Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.” – Proverbs 29:11
“A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls.” – Proverbs 25:28
“Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.” – Romans 12:4-5
“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” – Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
“Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, and you say, ‘Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well’ – but you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do? So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless.” – James 2:14-17