I only needed 20 cents . . .

And I got a quarter and some pennies.  My mother in law, Momma T, was in town and came to spend some time with Haris, so I could go have some time for myself to write and do whatever.

I asked Momma T if she wanted me to bring anything back for her.  She gave me $7 (cash – pay attention to the numbers) for some fruit.  There are men & women that set up fruit carts on popular intersections and cut it up fresh right on the spot.  Pineapple, papaya, mango, cucumber, coconut, honeydew, cantaloupe, and offer a squeeze of lime and other seasonings to top it off.  It’s delicious, refreshing and cash only.

Before heading to my favorite coffee shop to be cliché by ordering an iced latte and reading and writing, I stopped at the library to make some copies (Haris is in a baby book club, don’t ask, it’s fun and cute though lol).  The total for the copies came to $3.  The library only accepts cash/coin.  I had $2.80 on me that was mine . . . I used $1 of Momma Trina’s and figured okay I’ll stop at the ATM if need be, but I should have 20 cents in my car, no biggie, it’s only 20 cents.

Got my copies, looked in my wallet, the same 80 cents was there, looked in my purse, nothing, so I commenced to searching the car . . . police style minus the dog.  I found 6 pennies in the entire car. 14 cents short.

I didn’t really want to stop at the ATM, because parking can be a hassle (drive through isn’t an option at the closest bank) and it’s another stop.  I began to fantasize that I would find 20 cents on the sidewalk as I walked into the coffee shop.  I even thought about asking someone for 20 cents and remembered there’s a tip jar at the coffee shop’s register, would the baristas mind donating 20 cents?  Lol!  Please don’t judge me as lazy!

And then a small hope and prayer mixed with a strong want, and the slightest of just kidding, I asked, “God, I know you could put 20 cents in my purse just because You can, help a girl get 20 cents.”  And that was the last of my thoughts regarding the 20 cents.

Took my time enjoying my coffee, wrote and read some, hopped in the car, and remembered that I needed to pick up the fruit, and rendered I would be stopping at the ATM.  I rehearsed a monologue a few times, and decided to look in my purse one more time, futile probably, but when you want something you sometimes . . . try again.

Now you may not believe me, you may think I overlooked it, you may even imagine that my purse is big.  It’s not, it’s a mini purse . . .and inside loose at the bottom this time was a quarter and some pennies.  God is funny sometimes isn’t He?  He’s wonderful and pretty amazing too.

I laughed, rejoiced, and thanked Him, and then I was reminded of what Derrick asked me the other evening, “What do you want?”  It’s a big question that maybe some of us don’t ask ourselves enough.

Sometimes you have to check in with yourself regarding those things.  Because days, weeks, and years can come and go, and you haven’t moved any closer to them, because you’re in a loop, doing the routine.  And sometimes (most of the time) what we want isn’t in the routine.  And our secret promises of starting tomorrow, keep getting pushed to the next tomorrow.

I texted my friend and we chatted about wants.  And she asked me this . . .

“Do you think what you have to do isn’t what you want?” – Tekquiree Spencer

Ante up or fold, because no one can play your hand for you.

And now, I ask myself do I want those things/goals/dreams like I wanted the 20 cents?  Or as bad as I didn’t want to stop at the ATM? Lol!

Examining the 20 cents . . . there was a want, I did what I could (search party in my car), and then I said a prayer, had some hope, knew He was capable and went on about my business (no worrying).

Do I think God cared about me having to stop at the ATM?  Nah, He cared about Momma T getting her fruit, lol! I joke (but He cares about both wants I believe).  Now, I can’t say all why He did it, but this is what I felt . . .

  • God cared about me wanting something as small as 20 cents and not stopping at an ATM, He’s certainly not oblivious to big things, and He is my help.
  • He’s able, trust Him.
  • Don’t be afraid to want/desire
  • What I wanted was less, than what He had for me.
  • I needed change to get fruit

“Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit.” – John 15:2

So it was a wonderful miracle filled Wednesday and it didn’t hurt that one of the baristas said I looked like Halle Berry, should be on a soap, and that November was authors novel month . . . looks like I have some things to DO.

Thank You Lord!

“Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you.” – Psalm 25:5

“Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.” – Psalm 119:105

“…for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.  Do all things without grumbling or disputing; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world,…” – Philippians 2:13-15

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.” – Psalm 37:4,5

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