For a long time I had been feeling frustrated and unfulfilled artistically, mainly because I’m not as successful as I want to be yet. And if I’m honest, I was allowing my emotions of frustration to surpass and trip up my efforts for progression. It’s hard to be at odds within yourself and expect momentum to happen. It doesn’t.
“You know the night time darling, is the right time . . .” – Ray Charles
I thought I lost something in my persona this past Friday. A few times throughout the day I would hear myself, “oh I would like to _____ or that would be nice to ______.” After saying/thinking these phrases a couple of times, I thought oh my gosh, where’s my will, drive, and initiative? Where’s my go get it attitude? What’s happening to me?
. . . or at least I thought I did.
To get to work by 8:00am the latest I can wake up is 6:15am, to leave the house by 7:15am. We live 12 miles from where I work, but this is LA, I’ll need 40 – 45 minutes to be on time. Well last week . . .
Doesn’t everyone. But just because everyone can pass gas at dinner, doesn’t mean anyone should. Yes, I know it’s natural, complaining, gas is too, but everything natural isn’t good/necessary. We live in an apartment, so we walk our dog 2-3 times a day. And good dogs pee and poop on the grass, magical ones use the toilet.
Memorial day weekend . . . 3 day weekend . . . how did I use that time . . . I had a busy week (we probably almost all say we had a busy week every week, so lets not be surprised) . . .
. . . you don’t have a problem.” – my mentor. When my mentor said this, I thought she had lost it and simply couldn’t understand, because money was my problem. Making money cost time, and at that moment, it was taking all my of time. Work at 8:00am, to my next job at 5:00pm, done by 12:00am, and in bed by 1:00am. But I got what she was saying (she was right), there are problems that no amount of money can fix, but I still had a problem, and something definitely needed to change.
The first full week of January 2016 is off and running, and occasionally I’m still writing 2015 on things. Lol! Monday was efficient and productive. I was laser focused, task and time oriented! I mean I felt like I was killing it. Surprised and praising God for new changes and discipline; however, I heard that small voice saying too much, slow down. And if you didn’t know, Tuesday comes after Monday.
Our entire lives are made of decisions. Decisions have consequences (beliefs do too). When we say yes to something, we’re inevitably saying no to something else. Yay for not being in the middle of the road. Recently, I noticed a big motivator in my decision making.
My acting teacher made a decision.
It’s that time of the year! You know parties, goodies, fun times, planning for the next year, and yep the end of this year! Tears of jubilation at how great the year was or tears of relief that it’s over! Lol!
The end of the year use to be a big deal to me, and it’s always been bittersweet, but it’s no longer a time for me to mourn all the things that weren’t accomplished.